Friday, July 10, 2009

Question Box Friday: Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Q. What should you do if your boyfriend/girlfriend is getting carried away and about to go past your boundaries?
A. This is such a difficult issue, because you have feelings for your boyfriend/girlfriend. However, if your boyfriend/girlfriend really cares about you, he or she will also care about your beliefs. Stick to them, you know what is right and wrong, don't let anyone push you into doing something you aren't comfortable with. You should tell your boyfriend/girlfriend to stop. If he or she continues to push your boundaries, then I would seriously evaluate where this relationship is going. There are so many components to a healthy relationship and if your relationship is not healthy you should break up with that person. If he or she does not respect you and your boundaries, then why are they in a relationship with you? If someone really cares about you, then they will respect you and your beliefs. Know that you deserve the best and shouldn't settle for anything less than that!


Jake said...

Or you could just give in, get laid, and enjoy yourself. With proper birth control it can be an extremely enjoyable proposition with little risk. We are all animals after all, giving in to animalistic instincts is perfectly natural and quite fun!!!!

Andrea Jenson said...

Thanks for commenting Jake. I have several notes to respond to about what you said.

First of all you say, “you could just give in and get laid”. What does giving in mean? I think it means to sacrifice or give up. Like I don’t really want to clean my room, but I don’t want to get in trouble, so I’ll just give in and do it. Our sexuality is not something we should just “give in” to because it is such a sacred gift from God. I know a lot of people use the term “get laid”, but it has always bothered me because it is only a one way exchange. Sexual intercourse requires two people, a man and woman both take part in the act. It involves two individuals who have feelings and emotions that are effected by having sex. When someone says “go get laid” they are only thinking of one person, the person who is using the other person for sex. Let’s not be selfish about something that isn’t ours to begin with, because it is a gift.

“Enjoy yourself” is the next comment, I think that’s an interesting way to put it, because sex should be enjoyable, however not when it is a lie. Our bodies have a language of their own, for example a smile, a wink, a raise of the eyebrow. All of these signs from our body convey a message. Having sex with someone also conveys a message. What does it say? I think that depends, but it is definitely an intimate message. Having sex with someone is telling them with your body that you want to be with them, totally and completely. It is saying that they can have all of you.

“With proper birth control it can be an extremely enjoyable proposition with little risk.” Using birth control is lying with your body. You are telling your partner that you want to give all of yourself with them, except you are using birth control to separate you from them. Sex has two purposes which are to be uniting and procreative. When using birth control, you are saying no to procreation and you aren’t experiencing complete unity.

“We are all animals after all giving in to animalistic instincts is perfectly natural and quite fun!” According to biology we are animals, but let me give you an example. If food is put in front of a dog, the dog eats it. As a human we have the power to choose freely with our will how to respond to situations in our lives. This conscience and free will we have sets us apart which was part of God’s plan. Genesis 1:26 talks about God creating humans in His image and giving us dominion over all of the fish in the sea, birds in the sky, and all of the other animals. We are set apart from the animals and therefore should not regress to our animalistic instincts.

Finally, your last point I agree with. Having sex is perfectly natural and should be fun, but outside the context of marriage can have a negative impact on all people involved.

Andrea Jenson said...

Jake, if you want to continue this conversation feel free to e-mail me at