A Catholic Girl Walks into a Bar

A Catholic girl walks into a bar… Oh wait this is not a joke, it’s my life… Recently I walked into a bar and found the man of my dreams. Kidding, but he was pretty ‘McSteamy’ in essence. All evening we chatted and became familiar in a new friendship blossoming. I remember thinking how fun he was during our conversation considering we had a good bantering act in play, and how I would love to get to know him more. As the night was winding down, He invited me to sleep with him, which was flattering. I was tempted and thought about it for a second, but overall it was a buzz kill because I do take my faith seriously and fully embrace the Church teachings about sexuality so I declined the offer and went home alone.

Yet, I loved being desired by him- I just didn’t want him in the same way.

Teaching chastity has had funny affect on transforming my thoughts. Anytime a man is speaking to me, I am mentally doing a check (like a reflex) to see how Theology of the Body oriented our conversation is. The teachings have just weaved their way into my own thoughts and whole life. I do not enjoy being desired by a man when I can tell it is a very disordered desire towards their own selfish gain. Fortunately, it is very easy for me to spot these types of men so I can at least attempt to avoid temptation. I am not perfect, just experienced enough to know my weaknesses and not afraid to admit my screw ups.  

This would not be a blog of mine if I didn’t quote Saint Pope John Paul II at least once, he teaches the following about love in Theology of the Body:

Love as attraction: recognizing the good of another person; seeing the inner and outer beauty of another person.

Love as desire: wanting a good for yourself; desiring the goodness and happiness.

Love as goodwill: willing (or desiring) the good of another person.

These are all needed in a relationship but, ordered towards God.    

I’ve been reflecting on all of this constantly, as of late. To clarify, no, I was not just swimming around in my own fantasy of lustful thoughts about ‘McSteamy.’ But (as humbly as I can say this) a man’s interest is not foreign to me. Especially this year it seems to be raining men as potential suitors, from the guys who offer a one night stand to the gentlemen who are ready to be married tomorrow and treat me like a princess. If any of ‘said men’ are reading this, I do honestly thank you for your time and what I have learned from you.

 The world is starving for beauty, especially for ALL women to be confident in how authentically beautiful they are. I know my beauty and worth as a woman, and I am not afraid to allow the world to encounter the Lord through me, even if they don’t always see me as anything beyond physically attractive. One of the greatest powers a woman has is just simply ‘being’ and allowing others to take refuge in her. ‘Being’ woman is an art woman can spend our whole life unveiling and thereabout I have become enticing to men. But, I have been wondering why it is that I cannot muster up a hint of romantic affection in response to the men who have been pursuing me.

Something must be wrong with me.

On one fine Tuesday afternoon, I figured it out.

[Scene: in daily Mass. The readings have been proclaimed and all present are awaiting the reception of our Lord in the Eucharist.]

As I sit, or really kneel, in anticipation the tension is building in my heart. My prayer to the Lord bubbles up in my mind, “Beloved, I just want you. I long for you. I crave your intimacy in the restlessness of my soul.”  All of a sudden, in the depth of the sweet silence before receiving him, it made sense. I should want to be with and desire my earthly spouse in the same way, but not to same degree of intensity because even Scripture says only Christ will fulfill all our longings.

Desiring to be with my future spouse is a good thing. If I am not feeling it with a gentleman who asks to be mine, it is also a good and important thing to let him go. How nice would it be if I dated a man for a period of time, then after I tried it for awhile tell them I was never into the relationship but I just wanted to wait and see if my heart would come around? So as nicely as I can muster, I try to explain why the man should move along in life.

Waiting with full peace and joy in the arms of my Beloved, for the one he is preparing for me, is the greatest thing, ever. I am at a place in my life where I can recognize the vocational call to marriage, but I am not hurried to get there. I love my life, the way it is going, and the mystery in the adventure I have yet to explore! My heart is overflowing with a comforting, soothing love from and for the Lord. I am confident he is working on my own heart for the man I will marry. In that knowledge, as my gaze is locked on my Beloved, much of my heart does not want to be disturbed by a man trying to fit into it romantically.  

 

This does not mean I want to wait forever. I now understand the desire I should have towards a man in relation to my desire for the Eucharist. It makes me excited to anticipate that one day I will be so ‘over the moon’ about a man’s pursuit, which in a way will mirror my constant longing to receive the Lord in the Mass. Honestly, I have no idea how that love will take shape in my life, but that is what I enjoy most about this splendid adventure. I don’t have to worry or stay up all night wishing for prince charming to show up. God knows what is best for me, and I trust him with my heart. I am free to just be in the Lord and live in the truth of his glory each day, each hour, each moment. For he says this:

 “I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me.

And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union

Of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.

Know that I love you utterly.

For I am God.

Believe it and be satisfied.” - From St Anthony of Padua

I am the Lord’s and he is mine. When the time is right I will meet, then later share a beautiful, crazy, sanctifying marriage with another… To bear the cutest little fruit in kiddos, of course. Till then, I continue to be with my Comforter in the breaking of the bread.

Who would have thought all of that could come from walking into a bar?

Leah Darrow: "The Real Beauty is Truth"

I just ordered this from Catholic Answers today, and I am pretty excited to check it out. Leah Darrow has been on the speaking circuit for the past year or so, and this is her new video:

Leah Darrow has an awesome strory - the title of this DVD says it all: "From Top Model to Role Model." Leah was on "America's Next Top Model" before she experienced a huge transformation of the heart and came back to her faith. I think her witness is set to make a huge impact on our youth today, especially for young women, because I believe that beauty is incredibly misunderstood, and very one-sided, in our culture today.
This interview on EWTN's "Life on the Rock" is fantastic to take a look at, too. She pretty much hits it all - her testimony, fashion, the reality of "reality TV," the brokenness in the beauty industry, and purity.

"The human being is single, unique, and unrepeatable, someone thought of and chosen from eternity, someone called and identified by name" ... ~ Bl. Pope John Paul II

Thoughts on Marriage and Modesty . . .

There are some days that I really, really enjoy reading Simcha Fisher's blog over at the National Catholic Register. Today was one of those days.

Head over to see why!

1. Fast Girls: these high school girls who dressed modestly did better in track meets.
2. Should I Marry Him? (Or, ladies, should you date him?) Good answers to a classic question.

Goodness Reigns ~ Beauty

Check it out! This video clip comes from Goodness Reigns, a short film contest for teens/young adults on the Catholic faith and what makes it so awesome. The contest runs from April 1 - May 1, 2011 and the winner will receive $1,000 in cash. There are tons of topics in these videos (confession, the sacraments etc.) but here's one that focuses on authentic beauty from the inside out. "Remember, take care of your body and your soul because I am in your heart."

Who says it has to be itsy-bitsy?

If you haven't heard of Jessica Rey, she is an actress, chastity advocate and now entrapaneur to a modesty clothing and swimsuit line.( http://www.jessicarey.com/ )

Jessica booked her first television role as Alyssa, the white ranger on Disney's Power Ranger's Wild Force as well as "the young and the restless" and "General Hospital". She currently speaks to young people about chastity, modesty and her testimony. It is good to know that other people out there are making an effort to support this virtue. If you can, check out her clothing line and support her and her clothing ministry.

listen to jessica's story here http://www.thegorettigroup.org/jessica.htm

Sexting

The issue of "sexting" came up pretty frequently in one of our high schools last week. One person asked, "is sexting wrong since its not physically sex?"

Think about what sexting (sending nude pictures via text message) does: it exploits a woman's body. A woman's body is incredibly beautiful; it is a thing of mystery. A woman's body is made this way - this is especially seen in the fact that a woman's sexual organs are hidden inside her body. A woman's body expresses the beauty of herself as a person and her body points to the depths of her soul. As one man put it, "Nothing on earth compares to the beauty of women. Such a statement may seem like an exaggeration to some, but it is easy enough to prove: Could you imagine if guys in your school chuckled in glee as they sent pictures of waterfalls and flamingos to each other's cell phones? Despite how beautiful these other created things may be, just the thought of comparing them to the allure of a woman is absurd." (Jason Evert)

Women: your beauty has incredible power in the world - do not ever let it be exploited for anyone's selfish pleasure. Instead, use it in a powerful way to point men towards the beauty of God Himself, in whose image and likness you were made. Men: protect the beauty of women. Recognize and respect that beauty and dignity, even when the woman herself does not.

Sexting, just like pornography, harms both the person who poses for the pictures and the person who is looking at them. It teaches men and women that they are objects to be used, instead of persons to be loved. So, sexting is wrong because it exploits the human person - your body is a gift meant to be unveiled to your spouse alone. Love him or her enough now to save that gift for him.

One last thought from Muhammed Ali: "Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them. Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered
too."