Question: How seriously involved can I be with my boyfriend in high school? Should we be exclusively dating?
Answer: Answering the question of when the right time to date is very difficult. Maturity has a lot to do with it, but we also need to consider many other issues, such as what is the purpose of dating. I believe that the purpose of dating is to eventually find your future spouse. When I was in high school, I had a friend challenge me and tell me that I shouldn’t be dating someone unless I could see myself marrying that person. This gave me a whole new perspective on dating. I thought that dating was fun and just something to do before, but now I understand that dating is much more significant than that.
Exclusive dating is not something that I would recommend in grade school or high school. That doesn’t mean I think you should be dating multiple people, it’s actually the opposite of that. I would recommend going on group dates as friends instead of exclusively dating someone. Every single time an individual enters into a relationship, they are giving away a part of their heart. I am extra cautious now after experiencing a few heart breaks from relationships, because I want to save my heart for my husband and be able to completely give myself to him. If we exclusively date or constantly have a boyfriend/girlfriend think about how much of our heart we’re giving away and how little we will have left when we commit to our future spouse.
I want to address the idea of being seriously involved. What does it mean to be seriously involved? If we’re talking about emotional involvement, it is important to guard your heart. Females especially tend to connect emotionally and assume feelings of love are present when in actuality it may be infatuation or lust. The reason I recommended group dating is because it is best to avoid putting yourself in a situation where you will be tempted to be physically intimate. Physical and sexual intimacy adds even more complications to relationships. In high school, I think the focus should be on friendships and working on communication before getting physically involved. It is important to treasure your gift of sexuality and reserve that for your future spouse.