In a previous post, I mentioned that I would share the advice that some of my male friends gave for an 8th grade student who wanted to know how the self-esteem and reputation of teen boys would be affected by sexual activity. Here are some of the things they said in response:
1) Nothing can hurt your self-esteem so much as disappointing yourself. If you know that non-marital sex is wrong and do it to impress others, then you will let yourself down. Your self-image will be poorly affected by this decision more than anything that another person would say to you.
2)If a guy isn't having sex, he's not the only one - there are plenty of virgins out there too. Some may act like they've had sex and sometimes it just isn't true.
3) If a young man makes fun of somebody for being a virgin, he is painfully insecure about his own sexuality.
4) If a young man thinks that he is gaining masculinity by conquering young women, he is actually doing the exact opposite of what he wants.
5) Girls respect guys who respect girls.
6) Reputation: If you stand strong in your life as a chaste virgin, you will be more highly respected in the end.
7) Self esteem: The people who have sex and brag about it are often the ones who have lower self esteem.
8) One of the biggest signs of manhood is COURAGE! Without courage a man is just a coward. No man wants to be a coward. Unfortunately we have many cowards in our society, those who are afraid to be different, to fight for what is true, good and beautiful. When a man stands up for those things in the face of a disagreeing and even mocking crowd, he is a true soldier. THAT is MANhood. One can choose to be a man and be different or one can choose to be a coward and just follow the opinions of the majority.
9) Not everyone is having sex! It may seem like it because that's all the guys talk about in the locker room but guys talk big with little to back it up. So next time your friends get on the subject, tell the what you think about women: They are beautiful and deserve to not be treated as objects. You will be respected by your guy friends by not faltering on this view, and I am sure the girls will be happy to know that someone respects their dignity, even if they don't.
10) Young men and young women are capable of living chastity and are worth it!