Friday, October 30, 2009

Question Box: Modesty

Why should I have to dress modestly, the guys should just be able to control themselves?

This is actually a question that I struggled with in high school. We each have the ability to control our own minds and our own thoughts. But, we are a community and in that sense as a society we should try to built each other up and not bring each other down.

Dressing modestly is a way that we as women can help men become better men. When we wear revealing clothing we are disrespecting ourselves and tempting others to look at us as objects instead of as human beings. As humans we have an inherent dignity and beauty.

When we look at others as objects it trains us to think about what we want and what we can get which is a very selfish approach. True love looks at what is best for the other person. Therefore, if you know that something you are wearing is causing other people to sin, you should refrain from wearing that out of love and respect for others.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Giving verse Using

To give means to present voluntarily and without expecting compensation. Another definition of give is to place in someone’s care, and another is to be warm and open in relationships with another person. The part of all of these definitions that sticks out to me is that it is free. Giving is a choice people make with their own free will. Love treats another person like a person, whereas lust treats another person like an object.

On the other hand using is taking advantage of someone or exploiting them. Another definition of using is to consume entirely and another to exhaust the vigor or usefulness. I know that I don’t want to be taken advantage of or used, especially by someone who “loves” me. Don’t give in to lust and settle for being treated like an object.

When looking at the definitions of giving versus using, it is clear to me that a giving relationship is a loving one and in a relationship using is lusting. I want to be in a giving and loving relationship and not one in which there is lust and I am being used. The dignity we have as humans is far beyond being used or lusted after.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

40 Days for Life

This is the last week for the 40 Days for Life campaign...

Come pray with us @ Planned Parenthood!

This is the address:
2314 Auburn Ave
Cincinnati, OH

Monday, October 26, 2009

Quote of the Week

"The greater the feeling of responsibility for the person the more true love there is."

- John Paul II

Friday, October 23, 2009

Question Box Friday

Q: Is it okay to have sex while you're engaged?

A: No, it's not. When two people have sex they're saying with their bodies exactly what they said at the altar: I give myself to you completely, without reservation, to be open to new life, until death do us part. Sex "says" these vows. Your body speaks a language - we can say things with our body language - and sex outside of marriage lies; it's saying something with your body that your relationship can't back up. You haven't made that vow yet. Furthermore, engagement is still a time of discernment. You haven't fully made that decision, and having sex can cloud that discernment process.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Chastity vs. Abstinence

Everyone is always telling us to “not have sex”. If you have sex, you’re going to get pregnant or get a STD. So, you just shouldn’t do it. This concept depicts abstinence as the only option.

Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Our bodies are good and beautiful; they are meant to be loved and not used. Because of the way our culture twists the meaning of our sexuality and misrepresents our bodies, we have grown up thinking that abstinence is the goal. Abstinence is good, but chastity includes an understanding of the purpose of our bodies and sexuality.

Love is not just about feeling good, although this is a part of love. Love is an active decision. It is a decision to give oneself to another and to do so totally. Pope John Paul II uses the term total self-donation for this type of giving. It isn't about what we can get, but instead is willing the good of the other person.

People talk about finding “true love,” but what is it? Pope John Paul II explained: “For love is not merely a feeling; it is an act of will that consists of preferring, in a constant manner, the good of others to the good of oneself.”

It’s not enough to feel attractions or simply to want love. We must strive to know what is best for the other, and then make an actual commitment of our wills to bring about this “good” for the other.

Chastity is the virtue that directs our sexual desires and attitudes toward the truth of love. A virtue is a firm habit of doing what is good. To view chastity as a positive virtue we must see that it is much more than abstinence, which means “not having sex”.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Quote of the Week

"The way one treats a woman corresponds to the way one lives with God."

-Philippe Lefebvre

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

"The Heart is a Battlefield between Love and Lust" : Breaking Free from Porn

I sat down and listened to this 5-CD set at work today. And I was blown away. It's one of the most powerful CDs on Chastity that I've ever listened to. Pornography is one of the largest, most dangerous threats to authentic love in our culture today, and this set directly addresses the issue head-on.

It answers questions like "why does pornography become an addiction?" and what's wrong with looking at a swimsuit magazine?" His wife, Crystalina, also reads a few letters from women whose husbands are addicted to porn, showing how truly destructive porn can be in a marriage.

But most of all, Jason Evert does a fantastic job of showing that the real battle lies within the heart, and he shows how to overcome the challenge of re-directing our desires to the truth about love. "When the temptation comes to mind, don't shove it down; lift it up. Pray for that woman who is a victim of pornography. The devil wants to use these women to bring you down, and you’re using that temptation as an opportunity to lift you up." - Jason Evert

You can buy the CD set from Catholic Answers -

Monday, October 12, 2009

Quote of the Week

“What could be more out of keeping with our holy religion then impure language? It outrages God. It scandalizes our neighbor. Can a Christian really afford to occupy his mind with such horrible images?”
- St. John Vianney, Patron Saint of Priests

Friday, October 9, 2009

Question Box: Commitment to Chastity

Can I commit to chastity even if I’ve already been sexual active?

Yes, you can! It is important to understand what chastity is in its fullness. We can recommit ourselves to chastity and continue following this plan for our sexuality. The term we use for this idea is secondary virginity. So, now for the practical part of what does this actually mean to live and commit to chastity.

Chastity is not just a choice, it’s a lifestyle. Saving all sexual activity for marriage is an essential part of living our chastity, but married people also live this virtue of chastity by remaining faithful to their spouse. Since it is a lifestyle it also involves respecting yourself and others. Dressing modestly is another important aspect of living chastity. It is more than just purity of actions it also involves purity of thought and word.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


The issue of "sexting" came up pretty frequently in one of our high schools last week. One person asked, "is sexting wrong since its not physically sex?"

Think about what sexting (sending nude pictures via text message) does: it exploits a woman's body. A woman's body is incredibly beautiful; it is a thing of mystery. A woman's body is made this way - this is especially seen in the fact that a woman's sexual organs are hidden inside her body. A woman's body expresses the beauty of herself as a person and her body points to the depths of her soul. As one man put it, "Nothing on earth compares to the beauty of women. Such a statement may seem like an exaggeration to some, but it is easy enough to prove: Could you imagine if guys in your school chuckled in glee as they sent pictures of waterfalls and flamingos to each other's cell phones? Despite how beautiful these other created things may be, just the thought of comparing them to the allure of a woman is absurd." (Jason Evert)

Women: your beauty has incredible power in the world - do not ever let it be exploited for anyone's selfish pleasure. Instead, use it in a powerful way to point men towards the beauty of God Himself, in whose image and likness you were made. Men: protect the beauty of women. Recognize and respect that beauty and dignity, even when the woman herself does not.

Sexting, just like pornography, harms both the person who poses for the pictures and the person who is looking at them. It teaches men and women that they are objects to be used, instead of persons to be loved. So, sexting is wrong because it exploits the human person - your body is a gift meant to be unveiled to your spouse alone. Love him or her enough now to save that gift for him.

One last thought from Muhammed Ali: "Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them. Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered

Monday, October 5, 2009

Quote of the Week

"Every day we have to say yes. To be where he wants you to be . . . To accept whatever he gives and to give whatever he takes with a big smile. This is the surrender. To accept to be cut into pieces, and yet every piece belongs only to him. "

- Mother Teresa

Friday, October 2, 2009

Question Box Friday

Q: Is it bad to flirt?

A: It’s not bad to let a person of the opposite sex know that you’re interested in him/her. However, if your attention is a teasing, toying way to get that person to pay attention to you simply for entertainment or an ego boost, then yes it’s bad. Always ask yourself – am I being sincere? What’s my motivation?