On "The Moment of Truth"

Hello everyone! I wanted to tell you all about an article I read in the Plugged'n magazine about a new TV show called "The Moment of Truth." The contestants of the show are placed in a hot seat and asked questions meant to uncover their deep dark secrets while their loved ones watch from the crowd. Weeks before the contestants go on the television they are hooked up to a lie detector and asked 50 to 75 tailored questions. The results of the polygraph are not revealed to the contestants until they appear on the television show where they then attempt to match their previous answers. My first thought is that lie detectors are not a reliable source of truth so much so that they are not allowed to be used as evidence in any court case.

My second thought is even if lie detectors were reliable, "What is the point of this TV show?" The purpose of the TV show is to entertain Americans by destroying marriages and families. The contestants are paid to reveal their deep dark secrets on television for the whole world to witness. The more they reveal the more money they win. The article shares about one contestant who "admitted to extramarital sex wishing she'd married an ex-boyfriend - as her husband sat 20 feet away, head buried in his hands."

The article poses several great questions to ponder. One of them being the following question, "What does it say to teens when immoral confessions earn applause?" For a few seconds the crowd is shocked, but then they applaud the contestant when it is discovered that they have answered truthfully - even if they have answered honestly about something sinful. Is it okay for us to sin as long as we are truthful about it?

Here are some other good questions the article proposes for families to discuss about this TV show, as well as, insightful scripture references:

(1) What's the difference between a confession inspired by true repentance, and one motivated by greed or other selfish gain? (Proverbs 28:13; Psalm 51; 1 Timothy 6:9-12)

(2) When is better NOT to share our dislikes, temptations or other secret thoughts? (Ephesians 4:29; James 3; Proverbs 11:13)

(3) What is more noble, disclosing misdeeds under pressure or living a moral, upright life without a closet full of skeletons? (Proverbs 2:7-8; Psalm 11, 112 and 84:11)

Mexico City

This morning I read an article about the abortion debate in Mexico City.

It’s deceiving to even call it a debate. The article quoted the president of Catholic lawyers and he said it well: “It’s a debate over absolutes. It’s not really a subject to debate.” It’s important not to be deceived. A great trick of the Enemy is when he tempts us to think that God’s laws are open to debate. The right to life is necessary.

Also, there were others quoted that confused their religion with their fallen feelings. One woman said: “I am Catholic, but I have convictions.” Another was quoted: “I’m Catholic, but now that the law has passed [I’m having an abortion].” Are these Catholics uninformed? Regardless, once again, the media is sending mixed messages. Say, for example, you were an uninformed Catholic that reads the papers more often than you listen to your pastor. One would think, after reading something like this, that it’s okay to profess to be Catholic and supportive of something so grave that the Church condemns. It’s not okay.

The good news, though, is that 85% of the doctors in Mexico City won’t perform the abortion. Alleluia!

Please remember Mexico City in your prayers.

God Bless.

The Opposite of Love

Recently, I heard some one say that the opposite of love is selfishness. That is a complex statement. I'd like to explore it a little.

Yesterday, I wrote that love is sacrificial. That coincides with the statement that the opposite of love is self-centeredness. On further reflectin, it's not that simple, I think. There are many times that love seems selfish.

A selfish or neglectful act does not mean that you don't love some one. I'm thinking, in particular, of my love for Christ. The natural conclusion, if I were to hold the statement "the opposite of love is self-centeredness," would be that I don't love Christ because I don't continually sacrifice for him.

I know that some would say "Christ has come to give mercy." Then, what about my love for my parents? There will be times when my mom or dad will call and I'll see their number on the ID. I won't pick it up. This doesn't mean that I don't love my parents. I love my parents and I love Christ even if I have trouble sacrificing for them.

So, then, what is love? Dante writes in Vita Nuova: "Love and the noble heart are but on in the same." There's something to that.

I'll think about that some more and write more later.

Reliance on God

How can one develop a more chaste life?

Jesus tells us in Mt. 7: “Ask and it will be given; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened.” I’m sure you have asked and still struggle. Yet, Jesus cannot lie. He is the perfect spouse.

Is it that your will is not strong enough? The consequence for sin is more sin. The more one submits to an ungodly temptation, the more often one will do it again. Therefore, it is important to cultivate holiness in the repetition of good deeds. Start small and work to larger deeds.

Is it that you rely too much on your will? There comes a time when Christ hands us a cross and tells us to walk with him. Yet, there are two points to remember: 1. Christ gives you the cross, or the desire to become holier, and 2. He walks with you and helps. When you fall, he comes to pick you up and asks you to start again.

I don’t think that this is quite enough. The nature of love is to sacrifice. Is it that you must grow in love for Jesus? Love is reciprocal, which means that it’s shared. Jesus loves you and you must return that love. Sacrifice comes easily when you love the other so much.

The fact that one fails so often is discouraging. Sin is insatiable and the temptation continues to grow each time that one commits it. It can feel like Jesus isn’t helping. Why not? He is helping. Every time we repent he takes the situation including our mistakes and builds on it. We learn from it and share it with others.

In the Mystery, one is always left with questions. Do not let it stop you from asking.

May we constantly be reborn and strengthened in the Spirit.

Reflections on the Assumption

In the Catechism (n.966) it states: “Finally the Immaculate Virgin, preserved free from all stain of original sin, when the course of her earthly life was finished, was taken up body and soul into heavenly glory, and exalted by the Lord as Queen over all things, so that she might be the more fully conformed to her Son, the Lord of lords and conqueror of sin and death.’ The Assumption of the Blessed Virgin is a singular participation in her Son’s Resurrection and an anticipation of the resurrection of other Christians:

In giving birth you kept your virginity; in your Dormition you did not leave the world, O Mother of God, but were joined to the source of Life. You conceived the living God and, by your prayers, will deliver our souls from death.”

Reflections

1. I can’t fathom the profound holiness and sanctity that she, our fully human Mother, has. The Lord regards her so highly that he chose for her to join him, in her full humanity, in the Kingdom. I keep stressing “fully human” because humans, in a biological sense, are dirty and base compared to the divinity of God. How humble and loving is our God to bring this creature into his full presence? This is infinitely more humble than what a human could consider humble: Washing the feet of the homeless, caring for the wounds of lepers, etc.

2. Here’s a deep thought: Since Our Lady was bodily assumed into heaven, her body occupies the space of Heaven (mass, her body, occupies space). Does this mean that Heaven is a physical place out there somewhere? Or, since this assumption is “an anticipation of the resurrection of other Christians,” was she assumed in a glorified body (Christ calls the bodies of the resurrected “glorified”)? What is a glorified body? Is it matter that necessarily occupies space? Some deep, deep questions, huh?

I know that these questions and thoughts are pretty philosophical and abstract. Yet, they are fun to think about, huh? Sometimes I can almost imagine Heaven and the choirs of angels and saints, the Holy Family, and the Glory of the Trinity. I try to reach it in human terms, through my senses. Yet, the reality of Heaven is indescribable. A professor in seminary told me once: “We have to use words to talk about God. Yet, He is infinitely more complex than any set of words.” Therein lays the mystery.

God Bless.

Sex and Cohabitation vs. Marriage

Many people today think that things such as cohabitation and sex before marriage are healthy ways of testing out how compatible two people are. I worked in the restaurant business for two years where I was surrounded by people who lived very different lifestyles than my own. At times it was hard and I felt like an outcast, but by the grace of God and with time, I was able to build some pretty good relationships and report with the people there. On several occasions, upon learning that I was a virgin and saving myself for my husband, my friends there would ask me, "Well, what if he's not any good?" referring to sex. I'd smile a little and reply, "I'm not marrying a man for how good he is at sex." That was usually enough of an answer for them. Some would even reply, "Good point." I was always baffled that they hadn't thought of it first. When did love become dependent on how good some one is at sex? When a man and a woman take the time and effort to really get to know each other through conversations and quality time and are attracted to each other's character and values, the two don't need sex or cohabitation to show them how compatible they are.

The Statistics:

• The average length of a live-in relationship is 1.3 years.
• Cohabiting couples have an 80%+ chance that their relationship will end. (40% breakup before they marry; the other 40% divorce within 10 years of marriage.)
• The U.S. Justice Department found that women are 62 times more likely to be assaulted by a live-in boyfriend than by a husband.
• Living together doubles the risk for child abuse for any children in the home of a couple cohabiting.
• Cohabiting women have rates of depression 3 times higher than married women.
• Approximately 1 in 5 women living with someone has a sexual relationship with someone other than the guy with whom she lives. On the other hand, only an estimated 1 in 25 married women has a sexual relationship outside of marriage.
• If the couple abstains from sex before marriage, they are 29-47% more likely to enjoy sex afterward than those who cohabit.
• Married couples who pray together and practiced Natural Family Planning (NFP) as opposed to artificial contraception only have a 3-5% divorce rate.
• Currently, there are 12 married couples for every cohabiting couple

A marriage certificate will not provide a guarantee for a successful marriage, but it will help you avoid the above risks of living together. God wants us to have healthy, happy and meaningful relationships. The sacrament of marriage provides graces and strength for God to more fully work in your life and to allow you to have a better relationship with your spouse.

There was an article in The Catholic Telegraph about a book entitled Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance, and Religion on America's College Campuses. I have not read the book, but I think that the author, Donna Freitas, discovered an interesting point. Through her discussions and survey, Freitas discovered that many college students today cannot make a connection between their faith and their sexuality.
Today, our culture works hard to separate the two. Our society down plays God's role in our sexuality. "If it feels good it must be right." But who created and gave us our sexuality? God. So, would He not also know best what is the meaning and purpose of our sexuality? Our sexuality is so much more than a feeling.
The connection between our sexuality and our faith is crucial to understanding the true meaning and purpose of our human sexuality. Only God can reveal to us the true beauty and depth of our sexuality as men and women and how the two really complement each other.
The article reports Freitas saying that students are struggling to deal with the disconnect between what they really want and what they think is expected of them. So what do college students really want? Like all of us, they want authentic love - love that is real and total. Who wants to be loved for just their body and what it can do for another? I dare say no one. What is expected of them? The college environment expects them to join the party scene of excessive drinking and excessive casual sex with whomever, thus, denying themselves their true worth.
It is hard when the pressures of our society pull us in one direction and the yearning of our hearts pull us in a different direction. Wouldn't it serve us better to listen to our hearts so we can really live to the fullest?

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2