This morning I was listening to Sacred Heart Radio's new SonRise Morning Show, when I was excited to hear Brian Butler, the co-author of Theology of the Body for Teens. Brian offered an insightful analogy about why chastity is saying yes to love, more than it is about saying no. He said that when he got married he did not take a vow to not be involved with 3 billion women on the earth. Instead he made a vow to one woman, his wife. Consequently, through this vow, he was inferring that he was saying no to the billions of other women on the planet.
Brian explained Pope John Paul II's insights well with this analogy: Chastity is primarily saying yes to love and yes to God's plan for sexuality. As a consequence of saying yes to one thing, we must say no to other things (sexual activity outside of marriage, pornography, dressing immodestly, etc.). Brian was focused on his yes to his wife. Similarly, if we look at chastity as a positive virtue, our pursuit of true love in God's plan will lead us to make the no's that are necessary.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
BELLA
So, the word is finally official... Bella will be here in Cincinnati THIS WEEKEND November 9-11. Only three different theaters will be showing it: National Amusement in Springdale, AMC at Newport on the Levee, and REGAL in Deerfield Twp. and you can buy online ahead of time. Pregnancy Center East will be co-hosting the 5:50 pm showing at Newport on the Levee, Saturday, November 10th. If you would like to be pre-buy a ticket for the showing you can contact Pregnancy Center East at 513-321-3100 until 4pm on Friday. I know this is short notice, but this is very exciting news, so please spread the word!!! More locations are being added everyday, so if you are not from Cincinnati, find a theatre near you and support BELLA!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
The problem with porn
This blog has already highlighted some of the many problems with pornography, but another issue was highlighted on the front page of today's Cincinnati Enquirer. Without going into graphic detail, a rapist who is awaiting sentencing in Cincinnati was just discovered to have had child pornography on his computer. The porn actually depicted some of the same things he did to teenage girls.
As Dr. Mary Ann Layden from the University of Pennsylvania said --“I have been treating sexual violence victims and perpetrators for 13 years. I have not treated a single case of sexual violence that didn’t involve pornography.”
As Dr. Mary Ann Layden from the University of Pennsylvania said --“I have been treating sexual violence victims and perpetrators for 13 years. I have not treated a single case of sexual violence that didn’t involve pornography.”
Friday, November 2, 2007
Is pro-choice, pro-abortion?
C.S. Lewis, the author of the Chronicles of Narnia, used to talk about verbicide (the killing of words). The basic concept is that we use words that typically have another meaning to “sugarcoat” new concepts (eg. “gay” used to mean happy but now means actively homosexual). So, we now say pro-choice to sugarcoat being pro-abortion.
The only choice we are talking about in this instance is the choice to have an abortion. I think everyone should be pro-choice in the sense that we all want choices – what am I going to eat, what should I wear, which movie do I want to watch – but when we say pro-choice we are only advocating the ability to make one particular choice, regarding abortion.
What does freedom really mean? Surprisingly, freedom isn’t doing whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want. Freedom, instead, is the ability to choose the good. For example, if I have a car that runs only on unleaded gas, but I feel suppressed by such a condition that I decide to use diesel instead, how “free” will I feel when my car is unable to move? True freedom would be the ability to freely choose to buy the unleaded gas, which in the end will allow me to accomplish much more than the diesel would. Over the summer, a local teenager drove a car that crashed. He had the freedom to obey the speed limit or not. By not choosing what was good, his “freedom” (in the let-me-do-whatever-I-want-sense) resulted in the death of two other teens.
So, is choosing abortion freedom? To answer that, we would have to look at whether or not abortion is good. I would argue that it is not good on four counts:
What does freedom really mean? Surprisingly, freedom isn’t doing whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want. Freedom, instead, is the ability to choose the good. For example, if I have a car that runs only on unleaded gas, but I feel suppressed by such a condition that I decide to use diesel instead, how “free” will I feel when my car is unable to move? True freedom would be the ability to freely choose to buy the unleaded gas, which in the end will allow me to accomplish much more than the diesel would. Over the summer, a local teenager drove a car that crashed. He had the freedom to obey the speed limit or not. By not choosing what was good, his “freedom” (in the let-me-do-whatever-I-want-sense) resulted in the death of two other teens.So, is choosing abortion freedom? To answer that, we would have to look at whether or not abortion is good. I would argue that it is not good on four counts:
1) It ends the life of the child, whose life has begun at the moment of fertilization.
2) It destroys the emotional (and sometimes physical) health of the mother. (See http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/testimonies/index.html and http://afterabortion.com/sharing.html; also http://cuf.org/LayWitness/Online_view.asp?lwID=42 – this was written by a friend of mine)
3) It is emotionally damaging to the father. (See above links)
4) It is destructive of society, which has a lower respect for life in general and does not have the blessing of those 47 million people who God created for a reason.
What good could supporting the choice of abortion do? It seems like a quick fix, but after sidewalk counseling in front of abortion clinics and talking to many women who have had an abortion, I know that it doesn’t fix anything. In fact, it just creates more problems, physically and emotionally. In my time outside of abortion clinics, I have seen women cry, scream, become physically violent and even be carried out of the abortion clinic in a stretcher. After experiences like this, I have encountered face-to-face that abortion does not make someone’s life easy. Of course, adoption and parenting are not easy decisions either, but they are decisions that a woman can live with.
This plays a huge role in why we do the In Control program – we don’t want anyone to be put in this situation to begin with. If someone is facing an unexpected pregnancy, then we can reach out to them in love by helping them to find options that are truly loving and life-giving. True freedom would give these women the ability to freely choose the good – life.
Think back to the legalization of slavery or during the Holocaust. Would anyone today say that it would have been OK to be “pro-choice” in supporting slavery or the Holocaust? Doubtfully. We recognize that those things were horribly wrong and we can’t even imagine someone saying that it would be OK if it was someone else’s choice.
Think back to the legalization of slavery or during the Holocaust. Would anyone today say that it would have been OK to be “pro-choice” in supporting slavery or the Holocaust? Doubtfully. We recognize that those things were horribly wrong and we can’t even imagine someone saying that it would be OK if it was someone else’s choice.
I was able to go to Poland last year. Standing in the Auschwitz concentration camp I could not believe what 
a horrible place it was. Another girl from my school told me that maybe a reason God had me there was to share with others the similarity of the acceptance of evil during the Holocaust and the acceptance of the evil of abortion. I read a book about the Holocaust in which one man was quoted as saying that the reason he got involved in standing against the work of Hitler was because he couldn’t imagine his future grandchildren asking him what he did to stop the evil, if his answer would be, “Nothing.” I think the same is true today.
Saying, I’m against abortion but I’m pro-choice is like saying, I’m against parents shooting their teenagers, but I’m for the choice of other parents to shoot their teenagers if they get frustrated with them." If killing babies through abortion is wrong, then it can never be right. Therefore, being "pro-choice" is being "pro-abortion."
a horrible place it was. Another girl from my school told me that maybe a reason God had me there was to share with others the similarity of the acceptance of evil during the Holocaust and the acceptance of the evil of abortion. I read a book about the Holocaust in which one man was quoted as saying that the reason he got involved in standing against the work of Hitler was because he couldn’t imagine his future grandchildren asking him what he did to stop the evil, if his answer would be, “Nothing.” I think the same is true today.Saying, I’m against abortion but I’m pro-choice is like saying, I’m against parents shooting their teenagers, but I’m for the choice of other parents to shoot their teenagers if they get frustrated with them." If killing babies through abortion is wrong, then it can never be right. Therefore, being "pro-choice" is being "pro-abortion."
Finding Mr. Right
Wendy Shalit, author of Return to Modesty and Girls Gone Mild, received an interesting facebook message after speaking in Pittsburgh. A young man, Joe Muir, sent Wendy what he would have said at the primarily female attended event. His comments give us something interesting to think about. Here is the final paragraph:
"I am definitely in the minority tonight, being but one of a very few men here, amongst this sea of beautiful women, women not content to buy the lie from society regarding where their beauty lies. I want to thank all of you for being here, and encourage all of you continue doing what do. I also want to encourage each of you to never, ever settle for second best in a relationship, as you deserve the best. It is far better to not be in a relationship, wishing you were in one, than to actually be in one, wishing you weren't. Be willing, I pray you, to be single for the rest of your life, if that's what it takes to not settle for second best; as that would be far better than marrying a man who cannot love you."
Make sure to read the whole post.
"I am definitely in the minority tonight, being but one of a very few men here, amongst this sea of beautiful women, women not content to buy the lie from society regarding where their beauty lies. I want to thank all of you for being here, and encourage all of you continue doing what do. I also want to encourage each of you to never, ever settle for second best in a relationship, as you deserve the best. It is far better to not be in a relationship, wishing you were in one, than to actually be in one, wishing you weren't. Be willing, I pray you, to be single for the rest of your life, if that's what it takes to not settle for second best; as that would be far better than marrying a man who cannot love you."
Make sure to read the whole post.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Happy All Saints Day!
On this day when we celebrate all of the saints, you may want to read about some saints who are known for their commitment to chastity:St. Augustine (He recommitted to chastity after a life of sexual promiscuity)
Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati (who is pictured to the right)
St. Raphael (an archangel who is patron of finding your spouse)
Let us ask for the saints' intercession as we strive for purity in our lives.
How far is too far?
This seems to be the most popular question. Jason Evert gives an excellent answer.
A related topic is whether or not french kissing is a good idea. Again, Jason Evert provides some great food for thought, including this: "Nevertheless, some say that French kissing is really no big deal and does not mean anything. But isn’t there something in you that wants it to be a big deal? The more of ourselves we give away, the less we value the gift of our body and our entire self (and people will respond by treating us with less respect as well). Ask yourself what your kisses are worth. Are they a way to repay a guy for a nice evening? Are they a solution to boredom on a date? Are they a way to cover up hurts or loneliness? Even worse, are they merely for 'harmless' fun? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we have forgotten the purpose of a kiss and the meaning of intimacy. So do not segregate parts of your sexuality as 'no big deal.' Your entire body is an infinitely big deal, and this includes your kisses. If we realize this, the simplest of kisses becomes priceless and brings more joy than one hundred one-night stands."
A related topic is whether or not french kissing is a good idea. Again, Jason Evert provides some great food for thought, including this: "Nevertheless, some say that French kissing is really no big deal and does not mean anything. But isn’t there something in you that wants it to be a big deal? The more of ourselves we give away, the less we value the gift of our body and our entire self (and people will respond by treating us with less respect as well). Ask yourself what your kisses are worth. Are they a way to repay a guy for a nice evening? Are they a solution to boredom on a date? Are they a way to cover up hurts or loneliness? Even worse, are they merely for 'harmless' fun? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we have forgotten the purpose of a kiss and the meaning of intimacy. So do not segregate parts of your sexuality as 'no big deal.' Your entire body is an infinitely big deal, and this includes your kisses. If we realize this, the simplest of kisses becomes priceless and brings more joy than one hundred one-night stands."
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